My Walking Grave
by PrincessIxi
Summary: Because this is what war does to you. And when it’s cold you need a heater, and you’d do anything to get one


**Title**: My Walking Grave 

**Genre: **Humour/angst

**Paring/s: -**

**Author's Notes: **My first FMA fiction. I seem to be writing heaps of angst these days, woe is me.. Ed's pretty morbid in this. This was _supposed _to be humorous ( dark humour ) then I sort of changed my mind half way through. It's more believable, I guess, because this is what war does and hardly anyone writes crap like this for FMA ( from what I've seen ) I'd like to try something like this again, with a more down to earth feel to it

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He'd never been so cold in his entire life. His body was so numb he didn't feel the pain when his fingernails broke his skin. Edward pulled the thin blanket tightly over his shoulders; chin pressed firmly on his knees. He scowled across the dark bunker.

Edward was cold, tired, a bit hungry, but over all incredibly fed up with life.

With war breaking out all over the country, he hadn't thought everyone had been seriously when they had said he would be put on the front lines. Ho boy.

Edward had been doing his rounds with Roy, which happened to involve going to one of the maximum security prison and making sure the prisoners hadn't tried to hang them selves with their hair over night. Then Roy decided to drop the bomb shell around the lines of; _Fluffy just had six puppies, oh and hey_ _guess what? You're heading to the front lines in about two weeks_. Edward would rather have Roy proclaim his undying love for him. At least he could deal with something like that. He'd stared up at the older man like he was insane, and ended up tripping head long down the stone steps, smacking his head on the last one, and having lost most of his dignity in the worse way possible.

The Alchemist hardly had time for this. Alphonse was still a suit of amour, for God's sake! Speaking of him, Edward had made it perfectly clear he was not coming. Not only was he a civilian, he would be pretty useless on the battlefield because of his bulk. A walking target for carpet-bombs.

Unfortunately, his little brother ended up coming anyway.

Havoc pointed out that what was he going to do while he was away? Twiddle his thumbs and wait for his dead brother's body to be foun- at this point both Edward and Roy kicked him hard in the shines for being so blunt, and for even considering the petit blond might be killed and with Alphonse in the room listening in, thank you very much.

In fact it was as bad as Havoc had said it would be. It was awful to wave goodbye each morning, then come back to the bunker literally beaten to a bloody pulp every night. It might have been easier if Alphonse wasn't there. Poor kid was going to have a stroke some day.

A few times the armoured boy had come with them. Most of it was ground work, and close to camp. There was lesser chance he would get attacked by something big. The enemy would scream and run every time they saw Alphonse. Alphonse didn't seem to find it as funny as the others did.

One time, Alphonse had been hit by a bomb, and was been blown from here to kingdom come. By some insane miracle, his blood seal was still intact. Edward had found the scrap of metal face down on the ground. Alphonse had commented idly that he thought he was going deaf, because all he could hear was a constant ringing in his ears. It had taken the men about two weeks to find the rest of Alphonse's armoured parts.

The living conditions were awful. Edward hadn't been expecting much, but it was still a cultural shock. A bunker had to hold over thirty men, when in fact it was only large enough for eighteen. The cots they slept in where crammed into every given space they had. Their bunker was made out of a some thick animal hind, but still couldn't keep out the winter blasts on particular cold nights. There was always a mad scramble for blankets these days. Most of the blankets had been given up for the fire, because the wood was so wet.

On the far side of the camp were the women's bunkers. There weren't a lot of women, but there was a select few. Most helped in paramedics, or serving food.

There were only three showers, because water was precious. They were hoses looped over tree trunks, and what looked like living room curtains gave them some privacy. An unfortunate Havoc had walked in on him, and Edward probably would've have strangled him with the curtain, if he hadn't been using it to cover up. Stupid nosy jerk.

Edward couldn't even remember whom they were fighting anymore. Everyone was starting to look the same nowadays. Everybody he saw in battle was streaked with blood and mud. There was smoke everywhere, and the air was filled with cries and gun shots and Alchemy blasts. More than once he'd been dragged out of the battle field, having completely broken down at the horror of it all. Edward had never realised there were so many gruesome ways to die. And how easy it was!

Edward had been looking down at a sleeping Roy a few nights ago, in one of his more darker moments, not something he was very proud of. He was coming to see how much he loathed every fibre of his being, for bringing him into this big mess. Roy was completely defenceless; innocent in his sleep, Edward could so easily snuff him out. He'd reacted out with his flesh hand to touch the mans neck, feeling the steady heart beat of the jugular. Slit neck, stab in just the right place, hell a pillow to his face would be a pretty way to die!

Alphonse had finally dragged Edward away before he had completely lost his self-control. He'd started crying silently, not wanting to wake up the soldiers surrounding them. All his energy was sapped out of his body in Alphonse cold embrace, not that he'd cared. He'd wailed helplessly about being an idiot, wanting to get out, hating himself for evening thinking things like this. Alphonse hated hearing his big brother like this, but couldn't say anything. He'd rocked the blond boy until he cried himself to the dark depths of sleep, and didn't let go until morning.

Edward guessed that's what war does to you eventually.

He shuffled about in the cot, the wooden frame hardly big enough to hold his body, which was saying something, as he was so small for his age. The problem at hand. Getting rid of the cold.

"Niisan?" There was a slight clank of metal grinding on metal as the glowing red eyes of Alphonse peered out from his corner. "You've been like that for a while. Is something wrong?"

"Cold," he grumbled, watching in shock as cold air whiffed out of his mouth. Damn.

"It's been snowing," Alphonse said simply. Edward gazed at him questionably. "I've been watching it," he elaborated. Beside the younger boy Edward noticed a flap of the marquee flutter in the breeze. Ah. Edward continued to look at his brother, golden eyes narrowing. His body structure was quite large, even after the bomb had hit him and they hadn't been able to find all the scraps, he was about the same size as before. That must mean he conducted a lot of body heat.

"Al, stand up for me," he asked, swinging his legs down from under his body, feeling the precious heat leave.

"Huh?" Alphonse's echoing voice sounded confused.

"Do it for me," he ordered, not asked this time. If this was going to work, he had to be off the ground. With a great deal of clanking, the boy got to his feet, making a few men turn over and mumble in their sleep. Edward hopped off his cot, shivering as his uncovered feet touched the freezing ground. "Sit in my cot."

"But, niisan, I'm to bi-" he trailed off as Edward fixed him with a honey glare. A glare that meant that Alphonse should not rub him up the wrong way. With a hum of resolve, he sat, the cot creaking ominously.

"Feet off the ground," he said, nodding at them. With a slight effort, Alphonse drew up his metal legs, and crossed them. Edward stood in front of his brother, lifting his hands. Alchemy was forbidden, apart from in the field of battle. Oh well. They could suck it up. He tapped his hands lightly together, then pressed them flat to Alphonse's breastplate. There was a hum of low power.

Alphonse jumped in shock. "What was that? I feel funny."

"I may have touched your blood seal in the transaction," Edward apologised, starting to unclasp Alphonse breastplate. "I'm just lucky it didn't kill you," he sounded perfectly fine that he'd come close to murdering his brother.

"Oh well if that's all," he sounded sarcastic. He caught the plate as it came away from his body. "What are you doing now?" he sounded doubtful.

"I speed up the particles around, which also includes inside, your body," he explained, sticking one foot inside Alphonse. "And because they're speeding up, their generating a lot more heat. Thus, I turned you into a human heater," he concluded, stepping fully inside, and tucking his legs under his chin. He sighed with bliss. Inside of Alphonse it was toasty warm. "Put your breastplate back on, but don't fasten it," he added. As his brother did as he was told, there was blackness as his air vent was closed off with a _clunk_.

Edward breathed in deeply, air already growing thick. He reached out and stroked the metal in front of his nose. It was slick with moisture, conducted by his breathing. It squeaked slightly as he ran his fingers down. "Open up your head a bit, or I'm gonna suffocate," he lifted his head skywards, as a kiss of fresh air whipped down as Alphonse pushed his head backwards. Heaving a loud breath, he relaxed his tense shoulders, and snuggled into Alphonse' back, ignoring the dampness.

"Niisan?" His voice echoed strangely around Edward.

"Hn," Edward mumbled, eyes closed.

"When do you think this will all be over?" Alphonse asked quietly, voice hardly above a whisper. Edward could hear him quite clearly, being so close. He opened his eyes, staring at the ground.

"The war is never over, Alphonse. My grave is here," Edward murmured. Both boys grew silent, and soon Edward drifted off into an uneasy slumber. The snow silently gathered outside, in hopes of washing away the war.

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END

-Ixi 


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